Halloween

Ack, I'm so excited. I wanted to fly down back to Hawaii, but I finally picked out my costume. Me, Ariane & Hahneey's ready. I miss my girls so bad, I was trying to pretend it didnt faze me that their down their celebrating my favorite girls birthday but, next year I'm definitely making a trip home. Anyways what can I say to sum up the last time I wrote in this. Ugh, I'm thinking things through. I dont know if I'm rushing myself into things and I know I need to make a decision. Awgh, I make it hard on myself but I guess I over analyze somethings.

Butterflies

Its nice to have someone to wake up too, havent felt this way in a long time. I wasnt planning on finding anyone here. I was set to do business and immediately go back home. then i met him and then...its weird how everything worked its way out. but he's growing on me, lol. here i go again. :) 

Hella tired, damn double shot tall white chocolate mocha with whip cream did me real good. I didnt have enough sleep *cough. I guess it was worth it because we got to talking. Thank god I got to catch up on my sleep tonight. Tomorrow's another day of double shift. :( aint that a bitch. Got to cash in my check and another one tomorrow. Yipee. 

So I told my mom about him. She's hella silly. Lifes real good. I'm scared, cause each time something great comes I screw it up. We'll see...

Dreams

Gah' damn it, I hate you and everything you've done in my life. I was doing perfectly fine and even without lifting a finger you seem to creep your way in. YOUR doing this on purpose and I no longer am yours. I refuse to be. Quit playin'. Your the reason why I let go or ruin good things that comes my way. These dreams, are beyond me. But thats the thing, your allowed to choose what it could be but it ends up being another. I dont want to think anything of it, but it comes and go. Oh these dreams. How can I make of it? 

I'm starting to like him more and more. It takes a lot for a guy to want to jump into a relationship when were both not ready. But to actually take the time and get to know me shows a lot about him. Its hella different, easily let in just anyone.  Oh well, laa dee daa. He needs to man up. teehee. kidding. 

So last night, punkass got to come over. :) Cooked me some good food. haha. Even if he was my guest, lol. Its always nice when he's around so I can irritate the shit out of him. He likes it anyways, I think? lol Its been a while since me and my sister in law worked out so I woke up at 7:24. Good way to start my day. Yup yup, today's a good day.

Here's something to cheer you fools up:

light as a feather

So im new at this shit, figure i spit some stuff out now that i've got a bit of free time. so whats new people? moving to oregon is one, brother went to iraq, and i miss my family especially my monsters back at home, and of course my friends. BIG step let me tell you but I'm getting by. I guess? I'm in it to change and theirs no turning back. I love my life here. To be on my own. I guess not a lot of people could say that so I believe i have braggin rights, keh? ^__^ But dont get it twisted, its hard. I'm not use to the weather, its hella freezin up in here. And I cant spend the way I use to. Shitty deals. But I'm sure it'll pay off at the end. IT BETTER. haha. Weekend was hella fun, Twee's Birthday party. Hence the pictures on my blog.

As for love life, bwahaha. what about love life? I'm scared cause the more I look into it, the more i "possibly" could be attach. From looking at one year ago and all the things that happen to me. I've got a good hold on my guard. Sometimes I should've let it down but I cant turn back time now, could I. So I learn from it. And now I'm here. I could honestly say that I've got someone in mind that rise above the rest. And all I could do is just hope that he puts up with me. LOL. He's sweet. So different from all the *cough, past "boys" in my life. I'm so done with my past and I will no longer let it get to me just because they dont know how to let it go. Whats done is done and I deserve the best and thats what I'm looking for. the question is, is he game for it?